Entry the thirty-ninth: In which I sometimes goof off when I should be working

This morning, on the way to work:

Elinoire: That fire truck we just passed is really shiny.
Mr. Elinoire: It just got behind us. I think it’s following us.
Elinoire: Uh…
Mr. Elinoire: It’s still there. It’s definitely following us.
Elinoire: Are you on fire?
Mr. Elinoire: Uh…
Elinoire: Because you aren’t paranoid if you’re really on fire.

And now that meme is stuck in my head.

“You’re not paranoid if the enemy really has hired psychics."
“You’re not paranoid if they’re really out of coffee.”
“You’re not paranoid if the birds are deliberately aiming for your car.”